With that out of the way, if you are STILL pulling hairs and trying to decide what to dress up as tonight (PROCRASTINATOR, PROCRASTINATOR, YOU’RE A PROCRASTINATOR BABY!)… may I recommend to you:
“The Gayest Alladin Ever(!) Costume”
Step 1) Drive to TJ Maxx
Step 2) Find a simple white blouse and get to work with those scissors!
Step 3) Find a fabulous pair of purple shoes in size 13.
Step 4) Wrap a towel around your head.
Step 5) Strip down to just your boxer shorts.
Step 6) Bury what’s left of any semblance of masculinity you had and go out and be FIERCE GIRLFRIEND!
Sometimes you just want to say, “Fuck it.” Thinking about, planning out, buying the materials, then making a costume from scratch is so much cheaper and much more authentic then something store-bought. But at the same time, a lot of us are just way too lazy for all that shit. Just like this guy right here. You can almost hear the thought-process that occurred right before his de-robing:
“A ghost? Nah, fuck that gay shit. Who wants to wear a sheet when I can show off my bro muscles? Hm, I’ve got this one empty 32 case of Bud Light, and I’m currently working on my second case… OHHHH SNAPPP!”
Instant white trash costume – DONE AND DONE! An instant hit at the Halloween party, as well as with your sister that you’ve been having your eye on all night.
Watch out hot, almost naked stud!! That gay republican is about to suck you dry and not in a good way. I’m just kidding, gay republicans aren’t the sons of satan. They’re just sad cause Obama is so far ahead in the polls. Happy Gay Christmas Everyone!!
Now admittedly it’s sometimes hard to tell whether a gay in some fabulously crazy outfit is dressed for Halloween, one of our 69 yearly parades or they are just ready for a night on the town. Regardless I present to you Part 1 of Gayest Ever’s celebration of the gayest costumes ever…
